Plan B is the new Plan A
Sponge bath it is.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
