i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
