that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
