I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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