I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
