I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize