Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
