Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
