I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
