thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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