Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think your dad took our porno
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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