well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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