How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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