I CAN MOONWALK!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
