i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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