I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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