My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
