it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
