i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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