And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
