I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize