How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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