so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
