i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
