I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
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