WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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