I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
