Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
