Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
