Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
