last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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