Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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