ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
