I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
