everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
