Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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