Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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