you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
