He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
