So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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