he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
