3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
