Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
