all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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