i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
