the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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