i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
