he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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