i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
