no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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