He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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