i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
