hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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